Jaedra is a life coach/ counsellor/teacher of 30 years. Her focus is on forgiveness through understanding, and her specialty is in teaching conflict resolution skills to couples, parents and teenagers, and individuals who want to improve their relationships/lives in general. She uses 'Attachment Theory" in her work with families.
She has been [and continues to be] a teacher and student of A Course in Miracles for the past 18 years.
She also offers her services as a teacher of English grammar, and a proof reader, having two Honours degrees, and being a published author.
| CONTACT INFORMATION |
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| Contact Name | Jaedra Bullock BA[HONS] MA[HONS] |
| Address | 46 Hollywood Avenue
Titirangi, AUCKLAND
North Island 0604 |
| Phone | 09 817 7280 | | Mobile | 021 202 7804 |
| Email |
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SERVICES
MY BACKGROUND
On leaving high school I worked at DNTV2 until I had my first child at the age of 20. I felt completely lost and unhappy with my handling of this baby, so when I was expecting my second child a year and a half later I researched what the 'experts' had to say on child rearing practices. Since their advice was conflicting and confusing I decided that I would follow my baby who [like all animals] must know what she needed to survive. This was the one thing the experts seemed to agree was not a good idea, yet by following my baby I established a wonderful loving and trusting relationship with her, unlike the relationships I saw around me which were based on conventional theories. [Many years later this approach is becoming main stream and is called "Attachment theory".]
When my two children were at school I enrolled at Otago University to develop the new ideas I was forming as a result of my unconventional approach to parenting. I graduated from there with a 1st class B.A.[Hons] and then gained a scholarship to Sydney University where I completed an M.A.[Hons]. During my second degree I remarried and had another son with whom I developed and even more trusting relationship, this time with the support of my [late] husband.
During my student days I tutored in Developmental Psychology at Otago and then Auckland Universities, and later I became a life coach/counsellor to help others gain from what I had learned. A division of Penguin published a book I wrote for parents.
I also studied Buddhism in depth to gain greater understanding of human nature via the more focussed eastern thought. Later I progressed to A Course in Miracles which essentially shows us how to get back in touch with our ever-innocent and loving nature, by undoing the conditioned beliefs we have acquired, and the defences we have learned as a consequence of those beliefs, using critical thinking.
MY APPROACH
. . is not religious. I see "God" as the all-encompassing love within all of us. I understand that life is a journey, in which somewhere in our childhood we lose sight of our innocence. To defend ourselves from judgement, we then learn to repress and project the cause of our fears, behaving in ways that are counter-productive to peace and happiness.
At some point in adulthood we become aware that things are not working for us - sometimes via a general feeling of dissatisfaction, sometimes through a dramatic turn of events such as a marriage breakdown, grief, illness or loss of job - and we start on our 'return' to the restoration of our innocent loving nature.
I constantly witness that everything that seems to happen to us, however apparently unpleasant, has an underlying loving purpose. I understand that we have learned to see and experience the world from an egocentric and therefore skewed perspective; that we are all helping one another even when appearances are the opposite; that although some 'problems' seem insurmountable, all are in fact challenges that are within our power to meet.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
. . or Anger Management. When we experience conflict with someone, it is because we [and the other person] are conflicted within ourselves. Conflict, when dealt with constructively, is helpful because it leads to clarity and resolution. Too often the conflict becomes 'destructive', because the childhood habit is to see the other person as a rival [sibling rivalry], and to want to be "right" and to "win" the argument rather than find a solution. Then reason and honesty are unwelcome: projection, distraction and resistance take their place, and nothing gets resolved.
This may occur quite unconsciously so we need to be aware of the signs that it is happening. For example, we need to recognise resistance and distraction tactics as they occur. Resistance tactics include a refusal to use reason and honesty, and the use of accusations/abuse or silences to prevent open communication, especially concerning the other side of the argument; distraction tactics are attempts to change the subject from the topic in hand, usually to the other person and his or her perceived 'misdemeanours'.
When conflict is dealt with constructively, and resolution is our purpose, the means we use to reach it are simply reason and honesty.
If you tend to find yourself in conflict, either with a partner, a teenager, with someone with whom you work, or whoever, I can show you how to approach and resolve conflict constructively and peacefully.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR COUPLES
When we are in a close relationship, the unfinished business from childhood inevitably rears its ugly head. Our major unfinished business comes from the defensive patterns learned in childhood when we were [necessarily] egocentric, and consequently believed we were the cause of all upsets. These defensive patterns were learned and can therefore be unlearned, with reason and honesty taking their place. By replacing emotional reactions with reasonable responses, we become reasoning adults who, together, can resolve our conflicts lovingly.
GRIEF RESOLUTION
When someone 'dies' it is only their body that dies. The essence that is that person has eternal life. Resolution is twofold: 1. clearing remaining [perceived] guilt towards that person, so that we can retain the love we have for them always; 2. coming to terms with not being able to connect with that person physically.
JAEDRA IS AVAILABLE IN PERSON, BY PHONE, OR BY EMAIL.
Inspirational Pictures for Children
As children are exposed to the challenges inherent in growing up - ie sibling rivalry, negative ideas of themselves and their world, attack/defence interactions, - they need reminders of who they are, of their ongoing innocence, and the love that surrounds them. The purpose of these pictures is to provide them with a constant reminder that life is a joyous adventure, that they are always loved and loving [any behaviour that looks unloving is a call for love], and that they have the ability to make happy choices.
These pictures can be personalised to include photos of a particular child/children. A4 size and approx A3 size. Call Jaedra for more information and orders.
QUALIFICATION DETAILS
BA [Hons]; MA [Hons]
Service Categories
Counselling, Life Coaching
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